First Half – Adult Children Moving Home
There are a number of reasons adult children may move back home but by far the most common one is…money.
So how much should you help your adult children and how much should you expect your parents to do for you? Here are the ground rules parents should establish:
Don't usurp the spouse if they are married – your advice is secondary to advice from their spouse. Don't use your money to control their lives. Keep in mind that if you help too much you may take away their initiative and hard work.
Distinguish between a gift and something that has strings attached – many hard feelings on both sides can be avoided by being sure both parties clearly understand this.
Establish household ground rules: Will the adult children pay rent? When is it due and how much is it? If there is no money for rent, are there projects around the house they can do to help cover their additional cost burden on mom and dad’s budget?
Who takes care of which day-to-day chores? Who makes dinner on which nights? Who cleans what area of the house? Does everyone take turns doing the all the family laundry or is everyone on their own?
Being clear about expectations on both sides can prevent many heartaches.
Second Half – Entitlement Attitude
Feeling like you deserve anything “just because” is part of an entitlement attitude. It’s easy to talk ourselves into getting what we want just because we “deserve it” but that attitude can often lead to financial disaster.
Splurging on something because you “deserve it” usually means you are spending money now that may be needed later. You are trading in your future security for unnecessary things in the present.
The flip side of entitlement is an abundance mindset. It is that sense that you already have “enough.” After all the poorest in America are richer than the rich in many other nations. The abundance mindset knows getting more stuff isn’t going to change your life significantly and although you may want something, do you really deserve it?
In the end, whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying that you deserve something, stop yourself. You already have an abundant life, filled with so many good things. Do you really deserve more?
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